Excerpts 6: Fall from Grace (updated)

Having revealed that Mhaldin turns evil, I have decided to provide some quick quotes to illustrate how it goes down. Some of these passages have not yet been included in the story.

"Mhaldin's been kidnapped".

'The Higharc?' Mhaldin thought in equal parts surprise and dismay. 'They did this?'
'A man named Cipit, working on behalf of the Higharc, had some involvement'. Fenera thought.

“They…tortured him” Fenera replied. “They tortured him and it’s all going on in my head. They wanted to know where we are so they…they asked Mhaldin”.

“Your master will know where Fenera is. You will tell us in time. You’ve got it easy right now but your master could have us get fiercer with you” one of them said. They left Mhaldin where he was: hanging by his legs from the ceiling of his cell.

“One day, maybe not this year and maybe not the next year, but one day I will kill you” Mhaldin stated. “On that day the Higharc and every evil thing it stands for will end. On that day you will regret making me your enemy. On that day I will see Starseran fall from the sky. I will strike it down”. Mhaldin spat at Haulk. “I will see to it that everything you love and have worked to accomplish and preserve burns to the ground!” Mhaldin was losing control; he wasn’t even rationalizing what he was saying. “By the gods, the corrupt Higharc will die, and I will make it happen! You and your filthy friends will pay for what they did to me!”

(while he is being rescued) And there he was, marred by scars and wearing blood stained clothing that had been torn. But there lay young Mhaldin: alive and sitting in front of Fenera’s eyes for the first time in a year and a day. He was still deep in peaceful unconsciousness.

“Someone mentioned his kidnapping and he sat down over there. He just stayed there for the whole meeting, not doing much”. Mhaldin heard her sigh. “I think he might be concerned. You see, I plan on making contact with the Higharc so to discuss the troubles out west. I suspect he fears making contact with the Higharc will give them an opportunity to…take him again”. Through Fenera’s eyes, Mhaldin saw his parents look at him “It is so painful to see him like this”.

“Those men helped keep me in a cage for nine months. It is my right to hate them” snapped Mhaldin.

'War kills bad men. Without war the world would be a terrible place' Mhaldin thought back as he thought about the Higharc and how the All War would destroy them.

“Yuel and his killers” Mhaldin said through his teeth. He looked at Fenera. “They just can’t leave me or my family alone. I…I’ll kill them all. All of them. I won’t take this anymore”. He stood up, fists clenched. He didn’t care how he would strike at Yuel, he didn’t give one single spot of logic to the feasibility of how he would do so. All he thought about was how much he wanted to kill every single man Yuel commanded. He took a few steps towards the exit, Rossus asked him where he was going.
“These animals put me in a collar for nine months and turned those days into a living nightmare for me. They hurt me like I did something to them” Mhaldin said. “Now I’ve gotten away from them and they’re still following me. They’re attacking Fenera now. I’m going out to slaughter them all. I’ve sat back and done nothing, now they’ll all pay with their lives!”

'You’re not a killer…'Fenera thought.
'Not yet' Mhaldin thought.

Mhaldin charged out of the shadows and jumped on the back of the banjo player forcing him to the ground. The man was dead before he fell: the sword of Rarend through his heart. The others were so off guard that they were still smiling at the song and music when Mhaldin began to kill them. For Mhaldin, it was a simple matter of pointing the pressure cannon at random people and pulling the trigger.

“No, YOU murdered all those people in New Caesarus!” Mhaldin yelled. “I saw the ashes! You and all your genocidal followers aren’t worth the food you eat! You are a sickness on the two planets. I didn’t murder anyone, I CURED them!”

"I loved you with my soul, I took care of you. I raised you" she said softly to Mhaldin. "When you were kidnapped, my life became a living nightmare. But we got you back". Her voice grew hard and sharp like water that was freezing, and equally as cold. "Now you...murder, kidnap. These are things that no child of mine knows how to do. You are not my son. Go with Usor'an, do whatever, I don't care what happens to you anymore".

"We can be friends" Usor'an offered as he sat down next to Mhaldin.

"Yuel is dead, but I want more" Mhaldin said to Usor'an. "Its time I took up my quarrel with the Higharc".

(much, much later...)
“On behalf of the Higharc, the people of Starseran, Jindaria and Eray, I welcome you,” the emissary said as he approached Mhaldin to shake hands. Mhaldin raised his hand, but not to shake hands. The emissary’s head fell to the floor: a blade that had unfolded from Mhaldin’s palm sat in his hand and blood sat on its edge.
No sooner had Mhadin murdered the emissary when the other scorighters attacked. Gunshots rang out and both drem guards were killed before they could bring their weapons to bear on their young adversary. The whole thing took less than five seconds.
The crowd stood and gazed in disbelief at what they had just seen. They just could not comprehend what they had seen. It was too unreal for them. Mhaldin looked up at the astonished faces, his young face beaten into a hateful glare. He swept his sword down towards the crowd as the scorighters unfolded guns from their hands.
“Kill them!” he screeched.

“I am sorry magistrate. I can only imagine how you feel,” Aironel raised his eyes to Mhaldin’s. “But if you kill us you’ll perpetuate the war”. Mhaldin didn’t react. “You’ll perpetuate the war, the one Eray wanted to start so desperately”. No reaction. “You can’t take vengeance, many people will die”.
“Isn’t that exactly what the Higharc wanted?” Mhaldin asked, his wings flapped a bit. Aironel pressed his hands together as though praying.
“Don’t you want this war to end? Do you think that killing all of us will help anything?” Aironel begged, his calm demeanor began to melt away.
“You are a sickness on Eray. I need to cure this world of you”.
“You’re making a mistake,” Aironel cried. “This is a peace talk you maniac!” Mhaldin stabbed Aironel in the stomach and leaned down. He pressed the flames from his two “wing” tendrils against the drem’s face. The smell of charred scales stung his nose. Mhaldin threw down the smoldering carcass and gestured to the angels. They machines descended down onto the Erayics, blades unfolded from their front limbs. Mhaldin joined them, and was lost in a tempest of screaming and blood. He hacked and killed, no mercy to anyone. None of his victims could fight back, none of his victims could get away. He killed the unarmed drem with the angels. At last he had his revenge.
It was over far too fast.

A Map of Eray

This is a map of Eray. Names are too small to see, but that is the general layout. Since most of the action takes place on Jindaria, Erayic peoples have little individuality, the the names of Erayic nations really don't matter. Names that are visible are "Southland" and "Northland". These are continents. Rusherson (the rebel nation in book 1) is in Northland. Anar is from Southland, a city called Dynorak to be more specific.

All about one of my characters: Fenera

Loving and good-natured. Arrogant and authoritative. Resourceful and smart. Fenera is a half human-half valkyrie. She is a 15 year old girl who commands a host of magical ability. She appears from book 5 onwards. Her description from book 5:
"Her girlish looks were being quickly replaced by a more womanly guise, though she still had the look of a child about her she looked a few years older than she actually was. Her face was lightly freckled and she wore her black hair behind her head in a short ponytail. She wasn’t fat like a lot of Jindarian princesses, nor was she skinny. Instead she had a lean and hardened from that had been sculpted by a lifetime of demanding work. Her mother saw to it that she learned to be a hard worker so she could grow up to be an excellent monarch. The work Fenera did, mental and otherwise, had made her strangely fit for a girl of her class"
I modeled Fenera's appearance (and only appearance) on an old classmate of mine: Brita S.
Her role in the books is an important one, almost as important as Anar in book 5. She is very skilled at healing victims of war with her mage powers and takes great joy in saving lives. She is very tolerant of others (except for Lynx Rossus whom she hates for his 'soldier personality'). Like most girls her age she loves to have fun.
In this way, she is an antithesis to her more militant twin brother: Mhadlin with whom she psychically shares thoughts. Despite their differences in ideology, Fenera loves her brother a whole lot (the feeling is mutual). The relationship runs into disaster when Mhaldin is kidnapped.
It falls to Fenera, Anar, and a group of friends to rescue the boy. Fenera is the glue that holds the rescue effort together and she needs to apply her quick thinking many times to bail the group from danger. By the time Mhaldin is rescued, Fenera is a heroine all across her homeland for her achievements (she once turned a whole invading army on its heels with her mage powers). This prompts the wrath of many, but she rises to the occasion and rapidly develops into a legend big enough to rival Anar.
When all seems well the unthinkable happens: Mhaldin turns evil. It falls to Fenera and Anar to take him down.
Fenera represents the ideal hero. She never kills anyone, she saves lives, often spending all her power on helping people. She fights only to defend, and she doesn't even kill her victims with her powers. Unlike Anar (or any action hero) she refuses to kill her enemies. The only person she will be allowed to kill (and even then, I don't know if I will make it happen or not) is her twin brother.

All about one of my characters: Mhaldin

Downtrodden and in pain. Resourceful and extreme. Exceptional and deadly.
If my whole series was published and sent to stores tomorrow, Mhaldin would be the most controversial character. He is a fifteen-year-old boy with a valkyrie mother and a human father, making him a, as someone once said "male valkyrie". He does not have the usual array of powers but does share the thoughts of his twin sister, Fenera. The two are as close as peas in a pod, both willing to die for the other. His description in book 5:
"Mhaldin was slightly skinnier than his sister though this was due to his body shape and not to a lack of fitness. Actually, Mhaldin was far more athletic than Fenera and stood almost a foot taller than her. He almost always seemed to be projecting a cheery mood. While some might make others feel uncomfortable with their rough appearance or negative attitude, Mhaldin’s demeanor was such that those around him could feel positive just by looking at him even if he wasn’t more cheery than the average person. Like Fenera he was very well disciplined."
So why the idea of controversy? He sounds like a nice enough kid, right? Actually, he isn't all smiles. Religious fanatics hate him for being a male and a valkyire. He has survived 6 assassination attempts. During the course of book 5 he is kidnapped, tortured (Mhaldin is the tortured '13 year old' I refer to in the 'Eray Rated R' post, although the draft it refers to is outdated: Mhaldin no longer gets executed), and nearly killed by decapitation. When finally released, he adopts a horrifying anti-social demeanor. His ideology? The world has rejected him, therefore, he has the right to fight back. During the course of book 6 he takes a terrible revenge on those who wronged him. In the end, tens of thousands of people are killed and Mhaldin murders one too many people and joins Usor'an to escape the law. It falls to his sister (who shares his thoughts and still dearly loves him) to take him down.
Mhaldin, as I believe, pushes the envelope of what is appropriate. I do avoid excessive description when he is being tortured, but do not hold back when he is killing people (in one instance, he slaughters a keep full of unarmed bandits). Is it right to have a teenage boy pile up the bodies in the way he does: a purely anti-heroic style? Maybe it isn't.
Being a villain, Mhaldin is destined for punishment. Not even I know how this is going to end. My projected ending is to have a family member (i.e Fenera) kill him and then mourn over it but do not know exactly how it will go down (one particularly morbid version has Fenera and Mhaldin kill one another, then have their father discover the bodies). I want the scene to be perfect: a totally eye-flooding tragedy that lies at the end of a very long fall from grace.
(edit) in the Theme Songs post, when I say Mhaldin's theme is the Soccent Attack from the Transformers score, I mean the song that plays during the Michael Bay Transformers movie when Blackout attacks Soccent. This song (please don't pull it YouTube) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM7SWfYSxw4

Peoples: Angels

Alongside the demons are a race of flying peoples called the angels. They are elusive, shy, very stingy when talking to others, and love to keep secrets. They are so elusive that all of what is known about them is taken from Erayic and Jindarian legend.
Angels are said to be the divine servants of the gods. Legends attribute them with magic powers. All angels can fly at astonishing speeds, always blowing on their magically loud trumpets to announce the presence of a divine herald. Angels are said to have been seen throwing fire, iron, and lightning from their fingers. Those who have seen them wheeling overhead sometimes say the angels' bodies burn with fire while they fly. Legends abound of angels confronting great researchers, learning about the lives of mortals from them. The most famous story is how a flight of angels guided a tribe of people to a land where they could be safe from the Chazzans: a land known as Crua.
Art always depicts angels as beautiful people with burning feet, burning halos of fire, and huge wings. Some legends attest that angels have red eyes. However they appear, they are, without a doubt, the most capable of all the races on Eray and Jindaria.
Most people do not believe they truly exist, fancying them a mere fable. However, the fact that they are reported on both Eray and Jindaria and are given the same traits on both worlds is compelling evidence in favor of their existence.
The angels are purely book 3 onwards. They take very little part in the the happenings of mortals, until book 3. They play the key role in book 4 and are from then on diminished. The most important thing about the angels is all that is known by anyone about them comes from legend. Their true nature is far more horrific.